| Let’s get one thing straight: Brandon Flowers is a huge prick. I would rank him third on my list of Frontmen-with-Unnecessarily-Fat-Heads, behind Kid Rock and M. Shadows. For a guy who sings like Stephen Hawking’s voice synthesizer, Flowers sure talks a lot of filth about bands who have actual singers.
Which brings me to my next point; why I absolutely hate The Killer’s 2004 debut Hot Fuss. #1: horrible frontman, #2: the guitarist insists on using the same powerless fuzz effect on his guitar over and over. #3: cheesy, repetitive keyboard parts which most people ignore when they attempt to like the song. #4: OVERRATED & OVERPLAYED.
So let me begin my fair and balanced (and I’m using that term the way Fox News does) review of The Killer’s new album, Sam’s Town.
It starts differently, with the obvious influence of The Cure’s Disintegration, but missing elements like the atmospheric spookiness, fluidity, and an appropriate vocalist. Flowers is no Robert Smith; Smith never sings like he’s hiccupping the same notes the guitar plays, as Flowers does in the album’s title track.
Flowers developed new ways to make my ears bleed. He now sings out of tune on purpose. Some singers can pull that off. Not Flowers. At least he does a good impression of a tone-deaf robot.
He also doesn’t know when to stop singing. Holy crap, a singer with half a brain would know when to break off a verse for decency’s sake. Not Flowers. In “Bling” he sings for all but about 10 seconds of the song.
At least his keyboard work has improved. Congratulations Brandon, if you had no throat I might not hate you. The guitarist is writing better parts –“When You Were Young,” has a pretty good hook. He also learned things called dynamics and variation. Looks like someone finally passed first grade. The bass and drums are pretty boring but ehh. I got bored of writing about it.
So I don’t hate this album as much as I hate Hot Fuss. Not ALL the songs are obnoxious, poorly written, juvenile, or lacking rhythm –only most. But improvement, however small, is a blessing in itself. The Killers still suck major nuts for absolute, undisputable reasons, but I wish none of them ill. Except Flowers, I hope you accidentally max out your parent’s credit card impulsively buying those Dior jackets you speak so highly of and end up forced to donate your vocal chords and ego to a disease research center to pay the bill. And then I hope your girlfriend gives you the syphilis I gave her last night. Just kidding! Though I wish I wasn’t.
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| SAM'S TOWN
1) Sam's Town
3) When You Were Young
4) Bling (Confession of a King)
5) For Reasons Unknown
6) Read My Mind
7) Uncle Jonny
9) My List
10) This River Is Wild
11) Why Do I Keep Counting?